yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
