And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
