i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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