since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
