If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize