My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
