I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
