i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
