i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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