She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
