You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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