so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
two words...techno handjob
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
