I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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