When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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