Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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