Where did you get a picture of my penis
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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