i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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