The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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