I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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