kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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