She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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