I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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