I want to make a zoo with you.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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