Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(325): View more from Texas

wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"

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(503): View more from Oregon

Just invented taco cereal.

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(309): View more from Illinois

You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked

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(217): View more from Illinois

He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love

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(406): View more from Montana

There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt

(202): View more from Washington, DC

It’s a glorious dick miracle!

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