I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
