I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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