So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
