this boner is exhausting
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
