id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
