When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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