Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
