butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
