If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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