I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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