You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
