this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
