I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
