he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
