You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
