did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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