Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
