great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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