Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
