Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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