i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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