I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
