Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize