hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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