They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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