My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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