No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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