it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
