Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
