also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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