i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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