i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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