...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize