trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
