You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize