i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
