break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
